Leaving Taipei after four days immersed in its bustling streets and the best night markets I’ve ever seen was no easy feat, even knowing I’ll be back for the last stretch of my 3-week stint in Taiwan. All the same, I’m excited about diving into the mysticism of Jiufen, a mountain town about an hour east of Taipei. My friend Jo did a great job convincing me to come while we worked from our hostel in Hong Kong a week prior, and her informative blog posts only sold me further.
I arrive mid-morning after a pleasant hour on the bus. I quickly hit pause on Pearl Jam’s ‘Sirens’ and stumble off the bus dragging my 40-pound suitcase behind me. My overflowing laptop backpack weighs almost as much and has been strangling my shoulders for months, so I place it on top of the suitcase and weave the straps to the handle.
Avoiding the temptation to buy candy from the 7 Eleven, I grab my 75-pound rolling bundle and set for my hotel. I’m staying at Corner Inn and Google Maps tells me it’ll be a straightforward quarter-mile jaunt there. Google Maps doesn’t know I have the sense of direction of a drunken moth on LSD.
Tourists have only just started to arrive for their day trip and the streets are still mostly deserted. I made sure to visit during the week to escape the legions of visitors that inundate the town on weekends. Taking pictures isn’t something I enjoy, least of all when it requires waiting an hour while an influencer snaps that perfect no-filter candid.
As I bitch my way uphill, I notice the strong resemblance the buildings bear to Japanese construction. Natural, warm color schemes abound, with the houses often featuring gray narrow-brick facades and brown steel windows and doors. I’ll later learn this is a carryover from when Taiwan was a Japanese colony in the late 1,800s and early 1,900s.
Now where the hell is Corner Inn?
Google Maps announced I’ve arrived, but on my left where Corner Inn should be I see only Rita’s House. Did they rebrand? A careful look at my reservation, which—along with all the hotel listings I can find—assures me I got the address right. I take another glance at Google Maps and decide that the hotel must be accessible only climbing up the stairs from the road below. With a sigh, I turn around and make my way down the road back to where I started, trying to focus on how much I’m saving on gym membership fees.
I greet the few locals I encounter in Mandarin, who sing ni hao back to me with warm, beaming smiles. I’m so distracted taking in the unmatched Taiwanese hospitality that I end up walking long past where I’m supposed to go.
Vaguely annoyed, I turn around and repeat the hike back up Jiubin road to look for the access stairs to Corner Inn. There’s no breeze to cut the humid heat and I’m beginning to question whether I really need to carry that half-pound tub of coconut oil for longer lashes around the globe with me. A stream of sweat courses down my back and I can almost feel a small ecosystem sprouting in my taint. After a few long minutes of panting and sighing I find myself where the stairs should be, but they are nowhere in sight.
FUCK!
Granted, nowhere did it say there would be stairs where I’m standing, I simply assumed it. But however else am I to reach this elusive hotel?
I reset my Google Maps search and realize I’ll have to hike farther up the road. I feel like a modern-day Sisyphus, dragging his suitcase and himself up the hill only to end up trudging back down in a never-ending loop of sweaty frustration.
When I reach the location Google keeps directing me to, I once again find nothing but this Rita’s House establishment.
What the hell is going on?
I assess my options. My suitcase is too small to double as a tent for the night, and paying for another place is not an option. I have two more months of traveling to go and my dwindling savings can only get me so far. And if I don’t check in, I’m certain, I won’t get my money back. I furiously punch the hotel’s phone number on my phone and wait for a response. On the other end someone picks up in Mandarin but quickly switches to English when I respond.
‘Hi! This is Jo. I’m checking in today but I can’t find the hotel,’ I explain. ‘Is the hotel still called Corner Inn?’
‘Yes, Corner Inn. Are you on Ruijin Road,’ the man asks patiently.
‘Yes. I’ve been hiking up and down the road with no luck.’
‘It’s a white house with a red door and pink and green windows. Very easy to find.’
Wait. The building to my left matches that description. Huh?
‘But that’s Rita’s House, no?’ I counter. ‘I’m right next to it and there’s a sign.’
‘No. That’s Corner Inn. You found it!’
Looking more closely I finally detect the inconspicuous white sign above the door with Corner Inn written in small font. In the foreground, the more prominent sign to Rita’s House mocks my crappy observation skills. Fucking Rita!
‘Oh… Sorry! I’m an idiot. I found it. I’ll see you soon.’
Is your sense of direction so bad you get lost even using Google Maps? Share your blunders below!